I'm here because...
"I missed a job opportunity because of some idiotic thing my (insert relative here) did to me."
"I'm ugly."
"My extremely insensitive boyfriend dumped me after (insert tragedy here) happened."
"I find fulfillment in (insert socially unacceptable activity here)."
"My pet defecated on me."
"Someone stole (insert valuable item here) from me in an ironic situation."
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I think the real problem these people have is that they post fake stories to FML in the hopes of enriching their lives. FML is really just sort of depressing.
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